CHAPTER V.
Now that I have come to the love part of my story, I am suddenly
conscious of dingy common colors on the palette with which I have been
painting. I wish I had some brilliant dyes. I wish, with all my heart, I
could take you back to that "Once upon a time" in which the souls of our
grandmothers delighted,--the time which Dr. Johnson sat up all night to
read about in "Evelina,"--the time when all the celestial virtues, all the
earthly graces were revealed in a condensed state to man through the blue
eyes and sumptuous linens of some Belinda Portman or Lord Mortimer.
None of your good-hearted, sorely-tempted villains then! It made your
hair stand on end only to read of them,--going about perpetually seeking
innocent maidens and unsophisticated old men to devour. That was the
time for holding up virtue and vice; no trouble then in seeing which were
sheep and which were goats! A person could write a story with a moral
to it, then, I should hope! People that were born in those days had no fancy
for going through the world with half-and-half characters, such as we put
up with; so Nature turned out complete specimens of each class, with all
the appendages of dress, fortune, et cetera, chording decently. The
heroine glides into life full-charged with rank, virtues, a name three-
syllabled, and a white dress that never needs washing, ready to sail
through dangers dire into a triumphant haven of matrimony;-- all the
aristocrats have high foreheads and cold blue eyes; all the peasants are old
women, miraculously grateful, in neat check aprons, or sullen-browed
insurgents planning revolts in caves.
Of course, I do not mean that these times are gone: they are alive (in a
modern fashion) in many places in the world; some of my friends have
described them in prose and verse. I only mean to say that I never was
there; I was born unlucky. I am willing to do my best, but I live in the
commonplace. Once or twice I have rashly tried my hand at dark
conspiracies, and women rare and radiant in Italian bowers; but I have a
friend who is sure to say, "Try and tell us about the butcher next door, my
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dear." If I look up from my paper now, I shall be just as apt to see our
dog and his kennel as the white sky stained with blood and Tyrian purple.
I never saw a full-blooded saint or sinner in my life. The coldest villain I
ever knew was the only son of his mother, and she a widow,--and a kinder
son never lived. Doubtless there are people capable of a love terrible in
its strength; but I never knew such a case that some one did not consider
its expediency as "a match" in the light of dollars and cents. As for
heroines, of course I have seen beautiful women, and good as fair. The
most beautiful is delicate and pure enough for a type of the Madonna, and
has a heart almost as warm and holy. (Very pure blood is in her veins,
too, if you care about blood.) But at home they call her Tode for a
nickname; all we can do, she will sing, and sing through her nose; and on
washing-days she often cooks the dinner, and scolds wholesomely, if the
tea-napkins are not in order. Now, what is anybody to do with a heroine
like that? I have known old maids in abundance, with pathos and
sunshine in their lives; but the old maid of novels I never have met, who
abandoned her soul to gossip,--nor yet the other type, a life-long martyr of
unselfishness. They are mixed generally, and not unlike their married
sisters, so far as I can see. Then as to men, certainly I know heroes.
One man, I knew, as high a chevalier in heart as any Bayard of them all;
one of those souls simple and gentle as a woman, tender in knightly
honour. He was an old man, with a rusty brown coat and rustier wig,
who spent his life in a dingy village office. You poets would have
laughed at him. Well, well, his history never will be written. The kind,
sad, blue eyes are shut now. There is a little farm-graveyard overgrown
with privet and wild grape-vines, and a flattened grave where he was laid
to rest; and only a few who knew him when they were children care to go
there, and think of what he was to them. But it was not in the far days of
Chivalry alone, I think, that true and proud souls have stood in the world
unwelcome, and, hurt to the quick, have turned away and dumbly died.
Let it be. Their lives are not lost, thank God!
I meant only to ask you, How can I help it, if the people in my story
seem coarse to you,--if the hero, unlike all other heroes, stopped to count
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the cost before he fell in love,--if it made his fingers thrill with pleasure to
touch a full pocket-book as well as his mistress's hand,--not being withal,
this Stephen Holmes, a man to be despised? A hero, rather, of a peculiar
type,--a man, more than other men: the very mould of man, doubt it who
will, that women love longest and most madly. Of course, if I could, I
would have blotted out every meanness before I showed him to you; I
would have told you Margret was an impetuous, whole-souled woman,
glad to throw her life down for her father, without one bitter thought of the
wife and mother she might have been; I would have painted her mother
tender, (as she was,) forgetting how pettish she grew on busy days: but
what can I do? I must show you men and women as they are in that
especial State of the Union where I live. In all the others, of course, it is
very different. Now, being prepared for disappointment, will you see my
hero?
He had sauntered out from the city for a morning walk,--not through
the hills, as Margret went, going home, but on the other side, to the river,
over which you could see the Prairie. We are in Indiana, remember.
The sunlight was pure that morning, powerful, tintless, the true wine of
life for body or spirit. Stephen Holmes knew that, being a man of
delicate animal instincts, and so used it, just as he had used the dumb-bells
in the morning. All things were made for man, weren't they? He was
leaning against the door of the school-house,-- a red, flaunting house, the
daub on the landscape: but, having his back to it, he could not see it, so
through his half-shut eyes he suffered the beauty of the scene to act on him.
Suffered: in a man, according to his creed, the will being dominant, and all
influences, such as beauty, pain, religion, permitted to act under orders.
Of course.
It was a peculiar landscape,--like the man who looked at it, of a
thoroughly American type. A range of sharp, dark hills, with a sombre
depth of green shadow in the clefts, and on the sides massed forests of
scarlet and flame and crimson. Above, the sharp peaks of stone rose into
the wan blue, wan and pale themselves, and wearing a certain air of fixed
calm, the type of an eternal quiet. At the base of the hills lay the city, a
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dirty mass of bricks and smoke and dust, and at its far edge flowed the
river,--deep here, tinted with green, writhing and gurgling and curdling on
the banks over shelving ledges of lichen and mud-covered rock. Beyond
it yawned the opening to the great West,--the Prairies. Not the dreary
deadness here, as farther west. A plain, dark russet in hue,--for the grass
was sun-scorched,--stretching away into the vague distance, intolerable,
silent, broken by hillocks and puny streams that only made the vastness
and silence more wide and heavy. Its limitless torpor weighed on the
brain; the eyes ached, stretching to find some break before the dull russet
faded into the amber of the horizon and was lost. An American
landscape: of few features, simple, grand in outline as a face of one of the
early gods. It lay utterly motionless before him, not a fleck of cloud in
the pure blue above, even where the mist rose from the river; it only had
glorified the clear blue into clearer violet.
Holmes stood quietly looking; he could have created a picture like this,
if he never had seen one; therefore he was able to recognize it, accepted it
into his soul, and let it do what it would there.
Suddenly a low wind from the far Pacific coast struck from the amber
line where the sun went down. A faint tremble passed over the great hills,
the broad sweeps of colour darkened from base to summit, then flashed
again,--while below, the prairie rose and fell like a dun sea, and rolled in
long, slow, solemn waves.
The wind struck so broad and fiercely in Holmes's face that he caught
his breath. It was a savage freedom, he thought, in the West there, whose
breath blew on him,--the freedom of the primitive man, the untamed
animal man, self-reliant and self-assertant, having conquered Nature.
Well, this fierce, masterful freedom was good for the soul, sometimes,
doubtless. It was old Knowles's vital air. He wondered if the old man
would succeed in his hobby, if he could make the slavish beggars and
thieves in the alleys yonder comprehend this fierce freedom. They
craved leave to live on sufferance now, not knowing their possible divinity.
It was a desperate remedy, this sense of unchecked liberty; but their
disease was desperate. As for himself, he did not need it; that element
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was not lacking. In a mere bodily sense, to be sure. He felt his arm.
Yes, the cold rigor of this new life had already worn off much of the
clogging weight of flesh, strengthened the muscles. Six months more in
the West would toughen the fibres to iron. He raised an iron weight that
lay on the steps, carelessly testing them. For the rest, he was going back
here; something of the cold, loose freshness got into his brain, he believed.
In the two years of absence his power of concentration had been stronger,
his perceptions more free from prejudice, gaining every day delicate point,
acuteness of analysis. He drew a long breath of the icy air, coarse with
the wild perfume of the prairie. No, his temperament needed a subtiler
atmosphere than this, rarer essence than mere brutal freedom The East, the
Old World, was his proper sphere for self-development. He would go as
soon as he could command the means, leaving all clogs behind. ALL?
His idle thought balked here, suddenly; the sallow forehead contracted
sharply, and his gray eyes grew in an instant shallow, careless, formal, as a
man who holds back his thought. There was a fierce warring in his brain
for a moment. Then he brushed his Kossuth hat with his arm, and put it
on, looking out at the landscape again. Somehow its meaning was dulled
to him. Just then a muddy terrier came up, and rubbed itself against his
knee. "Why, Tige, old boy!" he said, stooping to pat it kindly. The hard,
shallow look faded out; he half smiled, looking in the dog's eyes. A
curious smile, unspeakably tender and sad. It was the idiosyncrasy of the
man's face, rarely seen there. He might have looked with it at a criminal,
condemning him to death. But he would have condemned him, and, if no
hangman could be found, would have put the rope on with his own hands,
and then most probably would have sat down pale and trembling, and
analyzed his sensations on paper,--being sincere in all.
He sat down on the school-house step, which the boys had hacked and
whittled rough, and waited; for he was there by appointment, to meet Dr.
Knowles.
Knowles had gone out early in the morning to look at the ground he
was going to buy for his Phalanstery, or whatever he chose to call it. He
was to bring the deed of sale of the mill out with him for Holmes. The
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next day it was to be signed. Holmes saw him at last lumbering across
the prairie, wiping the perspiration from his forehead. Summer or winter,
he contrived to be always hot. There was a cart drawn by an old donkey
coming along beside him. Knowles was talking to the driver. The old
man clapped his hands as stage-coachmen do, and drew in long draughts
of air, as if there were keen life and promise in every breath. They came
up at last, the cart empty, and drying for the day's work after its morning's
scrubbing, Lois's pock-marked face all in a glow with trying to keep
Barney awake. She grew quite red with pleasure at seeing Holmes, but
went on quickly as the men began to talk. Tige followed her, of course;
but when she had gone a little way across the prairie, they saw her stop,
and presently the dog came back with something in his mouth, which he
laid down beside his master, and bolted off. It was only a rough wicker-
basket which she had filled with damp plushy moss, and half-buried in it
clusters of plumy fern, delicate brown and ashen lichens, masses of forest-
leaves all shaded green with a few crimson tints. It had a clear woody
smell, like far-off myrrh. The Doctor laughed as Holmes took it up.
"An artist's gift, if it is from a mulatto," he said. "A born colourist."
The men were not at ease,--for some reason; they seized on every trifle
to keep off the subject which had brought them together.
"That girl's artist-sense is pure, and her religion, down under the
perversion and ignorance of her brain. Curious, eh?"
"Look at the top of her head, when you see her," said Holmes. "It is
necessity for such brains to worship. They let the fire lick their blood, if
they happen to be born Parsees. This girl, if she had been a Jew when
Christ was born, would have known him as Simeon did."
Knowles said nothing,--only glanced at the massive head of the
speaker, with its overhanging brow, square development at the sides, and
lowered crown, and smiled significantly.
"Exactly," laughed Holmes, putting his hand on his head. "Crippled
there by my Yorkshire blood,--my mother. Never mind; outside of this
life, blood or circumstance matters nothing."
They walked on slowly towards town. Surely there was nothing in
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the bill-of-sale which the old man had in his pocket but a mere matter of
business; yet they were strangely silent about it, as if it brought shame to
some one. There was an embarrassed pause. The Doctor went back to
Lois for relief.
"I think it is the pain and want of such as she that makes them
susceptible to religion. The self in them is so starved and humbled that it
cannot obscure their eyes; they see God clearly."
"Say rather," said Holmes, "that the soul is so starved and blind that it
cannot recognize itself as God."
The Doctor's intolerant eye kindled.
"Humph! So that's your creed! Not Pantheism. Ego sum. Of
course you go on with the conjugation: I have been, I shall be. I,-- that
covers the whole ground, creation, redemption, and commands the
hereafter?"
"It does so," said Holmes, coolly.
"And this wretched huckster carries her deity about her,--her self-
existent soul? How, in God's name, is her life to set it free?"
Holmes said nothing. The coarse sneer could not be answered.
Men with pale faces and heavy jaws like his do not carry their religion on
their tongue's end; their creeds leave them only in the slow oozing life-
blood, false as the creeds may be.
Knowles went on hotly, half to himself, seizing on the new idea
fiercely, as men and women do who are yet groping for the truth of life.
"What is it your Novalis says? `The true Shechinah is man.' You
know no higher God? Pooh! the idea is old enough; it began with Eve.
It works slowly, Holmes. In six thousand years, taking humanity as one,
this self-existent soul should have clothed itself with a freer, royaller
garment than poor Lois's body,-- or mine," he added, bitterly.
"It works slowly," said the other, quietly. "Faster soon, in America.
There are yet many ills of life for the divinity within to conquer."
"And Lois and the swarming mass yonder in those dens? It is late for
them to begin the fight?"
"Endurance is enough for them here, and their religions teach them
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that. They could not bear the truth. One does not put a weapon into the
hands of a man dying of the fetor and hunger of the siege."
"But what will this life, or the lives to come, give to you, champions
who know the truth?"
"Nothing but victory," he said, in a low tone, looking away.
Knowles looked at the pale strength of the iron face.
"God help you, Stephen!" he broke out, his shallow jeering falling off.
"For there IS a God higher than we. The ills of life you mean to conquer
will teach it to you, Holmes. You'll find the Something above yourself, if
it's only to curse Him and die."
Holmes did not smile at the old man's heat,-- walked gravely, steadily.
There was a short silence. Knowles put his hand gently on the other's
arm.
"Stephen," he hesitated, "you're a stronger man than I. I know what
you are; I've watched you from a boy. But you're wrong here. I'm an
old man. There's not much I know in life,--enough to madden me. But
I do know there's something stronger,--some God outside of the mean
devil they call `Me.' You'll learn it, boy. There's an old story of a man
like you and the rest of your sect, and of the vile, mean, crawling things
that God sent to bring him down. There are such things yet. Mean
passions in your divine soul, low, selfish things, that will get the better of
you, show you what you are. You'll do all that man can do. But they
are coming, Stephen Holmes! they're coming!"
He stopped, startled. For Holmes had turned abruptly, glancing over
at the city with a strange wistfulness. It was over in a moment. He
resumed the slow, controlling walk beside him. They went on in silence
into town, and when they did speak, it was on indifferent subjects, not
referring to the last. The Doctor's heat, as it usually did, boiled out in
spasms on trifles. Once he stumped his toe, and, I am sorry to say, swore
roundly about it, just as he would have done in the new Arcadia, if one of
the jail-birds comprising that colony had been ungrateful for his
advantages. Philanthropists, for some curious reason, are not the most
amiable members of small families.
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He gave Holmes the roll of parchment he had in his pocket, looking
keenly at him, as he did so, but only saying, that, if he meant to sign it, it
would be done to-morrow. As Holmes took it, they stopped at the great
door of the factory. He went in alone, Knowles going down the street.
One trifle, strange in its way, he remembered afterwards. Holding the
roll of paper in his hand that would make the mill his, he went, in his slow,
grave way, down the long passage to the loom-rooms. There was a
crowd of porters and firemen there, as usual, and he thought one of them
hastily passed him in the dark passage, hiding behind an engine. As the
shadow fell on him, his teeth chattered with a chilly shudder. He smiled,
thinking how superstitious people would say that some one trod on his
grave just then, or that Death looked at him, and went on. Afterwards he
thought of it. Going through the office, the fat old book-keeper, Huff,
stopped him with a story he had been keeping for him all day. He liked
to tell a story to Holmes; he could see into a joke; it did a man good to
hear a fellow laugh like that. Holmes did laugh, for the story was a good
one, and stood a moment, then went in, leaving the old fellow chuckling
over his desk. Huff did not know how, lately, after every laugh, this man
felt a vague scorn of himself, as if jokes and laughter belonged to a self
that ought to have been dead long ago. Perhaps, if the fat old book-
keeper had known it, he would have said that the man was better than he
knew. But then,--poor Huff! He passed slowly through the alleys
between the great looms. Overhead the ceiling looked like a heavy maze
of iron cylinders and black swinging bars and wheels, all in swift,
ponderous motion. It was enough to make a brain dizzy with the
clanging thunder of the engines, the whizzing spindles of red and yellow,
and the hot daylight glaring over all. The looms were watched by
women, most of them bold, tawdry girls of fifteen or sixteen, or lean-
jawed women from the hills, wives of the coal-diggers. There was a
breathless odour of copperas. As he went from one room to another up
through the ascending stories, he had a vague sensation of being followed.
Some shadow lurked at times behind the engines, or stole after him in the
dark entries. Were there ghosts, then, in mills in broad daylight? None
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but the ghosts of Want and Hunger and Crime, he might have known, that
do not wait for night to walk our streets: the ghosts that poor old Knowles
hoped to lay forever.
Holmes had a room fitted up in the mill, where he slept. He went up
to it slowly, holding the paper tightly in one hand, glancing at the
operatives, the work, through his furtive half-shut eye. Nothing escaped
him. Passing the windows, he did not once look out at the prophetic
dream of beauty he had left without. In the mill he was of the mill. Yet
he went slowly, as if he shrank from the task waiting for him. Why
should he? It was a simple matter of business, this transfer of Knowles's
share in the mill to himself; to-day he was to decide whether he would
conclude the bargain. If any dark history of wrong lay underneath, if this
simple decision of his was to be the struggle for life and death with him,
his cold, firm face told nothing of it. Let us be just to him, stand by him,
if we can, in the midst of his desolate home and desolate life, and look
through his cold, sorrowful eyes at the deed he was going to do. Dreary
enough he looked, going through the great mill, despite the power in his
quiet face. A man who had strength for solitude; yet, I think, with all his
strength, his mother could not have borne to look back from the dead that
day, to see her boy so utterly alone. The day was the crisis of his life,
looked forward to for years; he held in his hand a sure passport to fortune.
Yet he thrust the hour off, perversely, trifling with idle fancies, pushing
from him the one question which all the years past and to come had left
for this day to decide.
Some such idle fancy it may have been that made the man turn from
the usual way down a narrow passage into which opened doors from small
offices. Margret Howth, he had learned to-day, was in the first one. He
hesitated before he did it, his sallow face turning a trifle paler; then he
went on in his hard, grave way, wondering dimly if she remembered his
step, if she cared to see him now. She used to know it,--she was the only
one in the world who ever had cared to know it,--silly child! Doubtless she
was wiser now. He remembered he used to think, that, when this woman
loved, it would be as he himself would, with a simple trust which the
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wrong of years could not touch. And once he had thought---- Well, well,
he was mistaken. Poor Margret! Better as it was. They were nothing to
each other. She had put him from her, and he had suffered himself to be
put away. Why, he would have given up every prospect of life, if he had
done otherwise! Yet he wondered bitterly if she had thought him selfish,-
-if she thought it was money he cared for, as the others did. It mattered
nothing what they thought, but it wounded him intolerably that she should
wrong him. Yet, with all this, whenever he looked forward to death, it
was with the certainty that he should find her there beyond. There would
be no secrets then; she would know then how he had loved her always.
Loved her? Yes; he need not hide it from himself, surely.
He was now by the door of the office;-- she was within. Little
Margret, poor little Margret! struggling there day after day for the old
father and mother. What a pale, cold little child she used to be! such a
child! yet kindling at his look or touch, as if her veins were filled with
subtile flame. Her soul was--like his own, he thought. He knew what it
was,-- he only. Even now he glowed with a man's triumph to know he
held the secret life of this woman bare in his hand. No other human
power could ever come near her; he was secure in possession. She had
put him from her;--it was better for both, perhaps. Their paths were
separate here; for she had some unreal notions of duty, and he had too
much to do in the world to clog himself with cares, or to idle an hour in
the rare ecstasy of even love like this.
He passed the office, not pausing in his slow step. Some sudden
impulse made him put his hand on the door as he brushed against it: just a
quick, light touch; but it had all the fierce passion of a caress. He drew it
back as quickly, and went on, wiping a clammy sweat from his face.
The room he had fitted up for himself was whitewashed and barely
furnished; it made one's bones ache to look at the iron bedstead and chairs.
Holmes's natural taste was more glowing, however smothered, than that of
any saffron-robed Sybarite. It needed correction, he knew; here was
discipline. Besides, he had set apart the coming three or four years of his
life to make money in, enough for the time to come. He would devote
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his whole strength to that work, and so be sooner done with it. Money, or
place, or even power, was nothing but a means to him: other men valued
them because of their influence on others. As his work in the world was
only the development of himself, it was different, of course. What would
it matter to his soul the day after death, if millions called his name aloud in
blame or praise? Would he hear or answer then? What would it matter
to him then, if he had starved with them, or ruled over them? People
talked of benevolence. What would it matter to him then, the misery or
happiness of those yet working in this paltry life of ours? In so far as the
exercise of kindly emotions or self-denial developed the higher part of his
nature, it was to be commended; as for its effect on others, that he had
nothing to do with. He practised self-denial constantly to strengthen the
benevolent instincts. That very morning he had given his last dollar to
Joe Byers, a half-starved cripple. "Chucked it at me," Joe said, "like as
he'd give a bone to a dog, and be damned to him! Who thanks him?"
To tell the truth, you will find no fairer exponent than this Stephen Holmes
of the great idea of American sociology,--that the object of life is TO
GROW. Circumstances had forced it on him, partly. Sitting now in his
room, where he was counting the cost of becoming a merchant prince, he
could look back to the time of a boyhood passed in the depths of ignorance
and vice. He knew what this Self within him was; he knew how it had
forced him to grope his way up, to give this hungry, insatiate soul air and
freedom and knowledge. All men around him were doing the same,--
thrusting and jostling and struggling, up, up. It was the American motto,
Go ahead; mothers taught it to their children; the whole system was a scale
of glittering prizes. He at least saw the higher meaning of the truth; he
had no low ambitions. To lift this self up into a higher range of being
when it had done with the uses of this,--that was his work. Self-salvation,
self-elevation,--the ideas that give birth to, and destroy half of our
Christianity, half of our philanthropy! Sometimes, sleeping instincts in the
man struggled up to assert a divinity more terrible than this growing
self-existent soul that he purified and analyzed day by day: a depth of
tender pity for outer pain; a fierce longing for rest, on something, in
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something, he cared not what. He stifled such rebellious promptings,--
called them morbid. He called it morbid, too, the passion now that
chilled his strong blood, and wrung out these clammy drops on his
forehead, at the mere thought of this girl below.
He shut the door of his room tightly: he had no time to-day for
lounging visitors. For Holmes, quiet and steady, was sought for, if not
popular, even in the free-and-easy West; one of those men who are
unwillingly masters among men. Just and mild, always; with a peculiar
gift that made men talk their best thoughts to him, knowing they would be
understood; if any core of eternal flint lay under the simple, truthful
manner of the man, nobody saw it.
He laid the bill of sale on the table; it was an altogether practical
matter on which he sat in judgment, but he was going to do nothing rashly.
A plain business document: he took Dr. Knowles's share in the factory; the
payments made with short intervals; John Herne was to be his endorser: it
needed only the names to make it valid. Plain enough; no hint there of
the tacit understanding that the purchase-money was a wedding dowry;
even between Herne and himself it never was openly put into words. If
he did not marry Miss Herne, the mill was her father's; that of course must
be spoken of, arranged to-morrow. If he took it, then? if he married her?
Holmes had been poor, was miserably poor yet, with the position and
habits of a man, of refinement. God knows it was not to gratify those
tastes that he clutched at this money. All the slow years of work trailed
up before him, that were gone,--of hard, wearing work for daily bread,
when his brain had been starving for knowledge, and his soul dulled,
debased with sordid trading. Was this to be always? Were these few
golden moments of life to be traded for the bread and meat he ate? To
eat and drink,--was that what he was here for?
As he paced the floor mechanically, some vague recollection crossed
his brain of a childish story of the man standing where the two great roads
of life parted. They were open before him now. Money, money,--he
took the word into his heart as a miser might do. With it, he was free
from these carking cares that were making his mind foul and muddy. If
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he had money! Slow, cool visions of triumphs rose before him outlined
on the years to come, practical, if Utopian. Slow and sure successes of
science and art, where his brain could work, helpful and growing. Far off,
yet surely to come,--surely for him,--a day when a pure social system
should be universal, should have thrust out its fibres of light, knitting into
one the nations of the earth, when the lowest slave should find its true
place and rightful work, and stand up, knowing itself divine. "To insure
to every man the freest development of his faculties:" he said over the
hackneyed dogma again and again, while the heavy, hateful years of
poverty rose before him that had trampled him down. "To insure to him
the freest development," he did not need to wait for St. Simon, or the
golden year, he thought with a dreary gibe; money was enough, and--Miss
Herne.
It was curious, that, when this woman, whom he saw every day, came
up in his mind, it was always in one posture, one costume. You have
noticed that peculiarity in your remembrance of some persons? Perhaps
you would find, if you looked closely, that in that look or indelible gesture
which your memory has caught there lies some subtile hint of the tie
between your soul and theirs. Now, when Holmes had resolved coolly to
weigh this woman, brain, heart, and flesh, to know how much of a
hindrance she would be, he could only see her, with his artist's sense, as
delicate a bloom of colouring as eye could crave, in one immovable
posture,--as he had seen her once in some masquerade or tableau vivant.
June, I think it was, she chose to represent that evening,--and with her
usual success; for no woman ever knew more thoroughly her material of
shape or colour, or how to work it up. Not an ill-chosen fancy, either,
that of the moist, warm month. Some tranced summer's day might have
drowsed down into such a human form by a dank pool, or on the thick
grass-crusted meadows. There was the full contour of the limbs hid
under warm green folds, the white flesh that glowed when you touched it
as if some smothered heat lay beneath, the snaring eyes, the sleeping face,
the amber hair uncoiled in a languid quiet, while yellow jasmines
deepened its hue into molten sunshine, and a great tiger-lily laid its sultry
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head on her breast. June? Could June become incarnate with higher
poetic meaning than that which this woman gave it? Mr. Kitts, the artist I
told you of, thought not, and fell in love with June and her on the spot,
which passion became quite unbearable after she had graciously permitted
him to sketch her,--for the benefit of Art. Three medical students and one
attorney, Miss Herne numbered as having been driven into a
state of dogged despair on that triumphal occasion. Mr. Holmes may
have quarrelled with the rendering, doubting to himself if her lip were not
too thick, her eye too brassy and pale a blue for the queen of months;
though I do not believe he thought at all about it. Yet the picture clung to
his memory.
As he slowly paced the room to-day, thinking of this woman as his
wife, light blue eyes and yellow hair and the unclean sweetness of
jasmine-flowers mixed with the hot sunshine and smells of the mill. He
could think of her in no other light. He might have done so; for the poor
girl had her other sides for view. She had one of those sharp, tawdry
intellects whose possessors are always reckoned "brilliant women, fine
talkers." She was (aside from the necessary sarcasm to keep up this
reputation) a good-humoured soul enough,--when no one stood in her way.
But if her shallow virtues or vices were palpable at all to him, they became
one with the torpid beauty of the oppressive summer day, and weighed on
him alike with a vague disgust. The woman luxuriated in perfume; some
heavy odour always hung about her. Holmes, thinking of her now,
fancied he felt it stifling the air, and opened the window for breath.
Patchouli or copperas,--what was the difference? The mill and his future
wife came to him together; it was scarcely his fault, if he thought of them
as one, or muttered, "Damnable clog!" as he sat down to write, his cold
eye growing colder. But he did not argue the question any longer;
decision had come keenly in one moment, fixed, unalterable.
If, through the long day, the starved heart of the man called feebly for
its natural food, he called it a paltry weakness; or if the old thought of the
quiet, pure little girl in the office below came back to him, he--he wished
her well, he hoped she might succeed in her work, he would always be
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ready to lend her a helping hand. So many years (he was ashamed to
think how many) he had built the thought of this girl as his wife into the
future, put his soul's strength into the hope, as if love and the homely
duties of husband and father were what life was given for! A boyish fancy,
he thought. He had not learned then that all dreams must yield to self-
reverence and self-growth. As for taking up this life of poverty and soul-
starvation for the sake of a little love, it would be an ignoble martyrdom,
the sacrifice of a grand unmeasured life to a shallow pleasure. He was no
longer a young man now; he had no time to waste. Poor Margret! he
wondered if it hurt her?
He signed the deed, and left it in the slow, quiet way natural to him,
and after a while stooped to pat the dog softly, who was trying to lick his
hand,--with the hard fingers shaking a little, and a smothered fierceness in
the half-closed eye, like a man who is tortured and alone.
There is a miserable drama acted in other homes than the Tuileries,
when men have found a woman's heart in their way to success, and
trampled it down under an iron heel. Men like Napoleon must live out
the law of their natures, I suppose,--on a throne, or in a mill.
So many trifles that day roused the undercurrent of old thoughts and
old hopes that taunted him,--trifles, too, that he would not have heeded at
another time. Pike came in on business, a bunch of bills in his hand. A
wily, keen eye he had, looking over them,--a lean face, emphasized only
by cunning. No wonder Dr. Knowles cursed him for a "slippery
customer," and was cheated by him the next hour. While he and Holmes
were counting out the bills, a little white-headed girl crept shyly in at the
door, and came up to the table,--oddly dressed, in a frock fastened with
great horn buttons, and with an old-fashioned anxious pair of eyes, the
color of blue Delft. Holmes smoothed her hair, as she stood beside them;
for he never could help caressing children or dogs. Pike looked up
sharply,--then half smiled, as he went on counting.
"Ninety, ninety-five, AND one hundred, all right,"--tying a bit of tape
about the papers. "My Sophy, Mr. Holmes. Good girl, Sophy is.
Bring her up to the mill sometimes," he said, apologetically, "on 'count of
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not leaving her alone. She gets lonesome at th' house."
Holmes glanced at Pike's felt hat lying on the table: there was a rusty
strip of crape on it.
"Yes," said Pike, in a lower tone, "I'm father and mother, both, to
Sophy now."
"I had not heard," said Holmes, kindly. "How about the boys, now?"
"Pete and John 's both gone West," the man said, his eyes kindling
eagerly. " 'S fine boys as ever turned out of Indiana. Good eddications
I give 'em both. I've felt the want of that all my life.. Good eddications.
Says I, `Now, boys, you've got your fortunes, nothing to hinder your bein'
President. Let's see what stuff 's in ye,' says I. So they're doin' well.
Wrote fur me to come out in the fall. But I'd rather scratch on, and gather
up a little for Sophy here, before I stop work."
He patted Sophy's tanned little hand on the table, as if beating some
soft tune. Holmes folded up the bills. Even this man could spare time
out of his hard, stingy life to love, and be loved, and to be generous! But
then he had no higher aim, knew nothing better.
"Well," said Pike, rising, "in case you take th' mill, Mr. Holmes, I
hope we'll be agreeable. I'll strive to do my best,"--in the old fawning
manner, to which Holmes nodded a curt reply.
The man stopped for Sophy to gather up her bits of broken "chayney"
with which she was making a tea-party on the table, and went down-stairs.
Towards evening Holmes went out,--not going through the narrow
passage that led to the offices, but avoiding it by a circuitous route. If it
cost him any pain to think why he did it, he showed none in his calm,
observant face. Buttoning up his coat as he went: the October sunset
looked as if it ought to be warm, but he was deathly cold. On the street
the young doctor beset him again with bows and news: Cox was his name,
I believe; the one, you remember, who had such a Talleyrand nose for
ferreting out successful men. He had to bear with him but for a few
moments, however. They met a crowd of workmen at the corner, one of
whom, an old man freshly washed, with honest eyes looking out of horn
spectacles, waited for them by a fire-plug. It was Polston, the coal-
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digger,--an acquaintance, a far-off kinsman of Holmes, in fact.
"Curious person making signs to you, yonder," said Cox; "hand, I
presume."
"My cousin Polston. If you do not know him, you'll excuse me?"
Cox sniffed the air down the street, and twirled his rattan, as he went.
The coal-digger was abrupt and distant in his greeting, going straight to
business.
"I will keep yoh only a minute, Mr. Holmes"----
"Stephen," corrected Holmes.
The old man's face warmed.
"Stephen, then," holding out his hand, "sence old times dawn't shame
yoh, Stephen. That's hearty, now. It's only a wured I want, but it's
immediate. Concernin' Joe Yare,--Lois's father, yoh know? He's back."
"Back? I saw him to-day, following me in the mill. His hair is gray?
I think it was he."
"No doubt. Yes, he's aged fast, down in the lock-up; goin' fast to the
end. Feeble, pore-like. It's a bad life, Joe Yare's; I wish 'n' 't would be
better to the end"----
He stopped with a wistful look at Holmes, who stood outwardly
attentive, but with little thought to waste on Joe Yare. The old coal-
digger drummed on the fire-plug uneasily.
"Myself, 't was for Lois's sake I thowt on it. To speak plain,--yoh'll
mind that Stokes affair, th' note Yare forged? Yes? Ther' 's none knows
o' that but yoh an' me. He's safe, Yare is, only fur yoh an' me. Yoh
speak the wured an' back he goes to the lock-up. Fur life. D' yoh see?"
"I see."
"He's tryin' to do right, Yare is."
The old man went on, trying not to be eager, and watching Holmes's
face.
"He's tryin'. Sendin' him back--yoh know how THAT'll end. Seems
like as we'd his soul in our hands. S'pose,--what d' yoh think, if we give
him a chance? It's yoh he fears. I see him a-watchin' yoh; what d' yoh
think, if we give him a chance?" catching Holmes's sleeve. "He's old, an'
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he's tryin'. Heh?"
Holmes smiled.
"We didn't make the law he broke. Justice before mercy. Haven't I
heard you talk to Sam in that way, long ago?"
The old man loosened his hold of Holmes's arm, looked up and down
the street, uncertain, disappointed.
"The law. Yes. That's right! Yoh're just man, Stephen Holmes."
"And yet?"----
"Yes. I dun'no'. Law's right, but Yare's had a bad chance, an' he's
tryin'. An' we're sendin' him to hell. Somethin' 's wrong. But I think
yoh're a just man," looking keenly in Holmes's face.
"A hard one, people say," said Holmes, after a pause, as they walked
on.
He had spoken half to himself, and received no answer. Some
blacker shadow troubled him than old Yare's fate.
"My mother was a hard woman,--you knew her?" he said, abruptly.
"She was just, like yoh. She was one o' th' elect, she said. Mercy's
fur them,--an' outside, justice. It's a narrer showin', I'm thinkin'."
"My father was outside," said Holmes, some old bitterness rising up in
his tone, his gray eye lighting with some unrevenged wrong.
Polston did not speak for a moment. "Dunnot bear malice agin her.
They're dead, now. It wasn't left fur her to judge him out yonder.
Yoh've yer father's Stephen, 'times. Hungry, pitiful, like women's. His
got desper't' 't th' last. Drunk hard,--died of 't, yoh know. But SHE
killed him,--th' sin was writ down fur her. Never was a boy I loved like
him, when we was boys."
There was a short silence.
"Yoh're like yer mother," said Polston, striving for a lighter tone.
"Here,"--motioning to the heavy iron jaws. "She never--let go.
Somehow, too, she'd the law on her side in outward showin', an' th' right.
But I hated religion, knowin' her. Well, ther' 's a day of makin' things
clear, comin'."
They had reached the corner now, and Polston turned down the lane.
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"Yoh 'll think o' Yare's case?" he said.
"Yes. But how can I help it," Holmes said, lightly, "if I am like my
mother, here?"-- putting his hand to his mouth.
"God help us, how can yoh? It's hard to think father and mother
leave their souls fightin' in their childern, cos th' love was wantin' to make
them one here."
Something glittered along the street as he spoke: the silver mountings
of a low-hung phaeton drawn by a pair of Mexican ponies. One or two
gentlemen on horseback were alongside, attendant on a lady within, Miss
Herne. She turned her fair face, and pale, greedy eyes, as she passed, and
lifted her hand languidly in recognition of Holmes. Polston's face
coloured.
"I've heered," he said, holding out his grimy hand. "I wish yoh well,
Stephen, boy. So'll the old 'oman. Yoh'll come an' see us, soon? Ye'r'
lookin' fagged, an' yer eyes is gettin' more like yer father's. I'm glad
things is takin' a good turn with yoh; an' yoh'll never be like him, starvin'
fur th' kind wured, an' havin' to die without it. I'm glad yoh've got true
love. She'd a fair face, I think. I wish yoh well, Stephen."
Holmes shook the grimy hand, and then stood a moment looking back
to the mill, from which the hands were just coming, and then down at the
phaeton moving idly down the road. How cold it was growing! People
passing by had a sickly look, as if they were struck by the plague. He
pushed the damp hair back, wiping his forehead, with another glance at the
mill-women coming out of the gate, and then followed the phaeton down
the hill.
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